Four Days into the Year
Been meaning to write since New Year's Eve but for some inexplicable reason it took four days before I settled down to stare upon this white space.
The year started on a slightly bitter note - but it's not the bitter of pills and capsules; but rather the bitter of rich dark chocolate. An acquired taste, pleasurable in a contemplative sort of way; like the chemical high of reaching the peak of a small mountain despite aching calves and screaming lungs.
I am looking over my shoulder. Looking back at the distance that I had traveled over the past year. There was once when I had fallen, but I picked myself up quickly, dusted my scabbed knees and advanced - with my jaws tightly clenched, I imagine. At times the going gets tough, but it's over before you know it.
The greatest accomplishments were perhaps the physical ones. I am now in the best shape I had ever been in my entire life, even better than active NS days. I won't be surprised if I can clock in below 10 minutes for the 2.4 run, something unimaginable in the past. I had also lost about 8kg, and dropped about 3 inches from the waist.
However this is hardly the end of it. My body fat percentage is still too high - I'm hoping to hit below 10%, and replace this with muscle mass. Not too much muscle, either. I imagine it'd be just right.
Smoking. It seems promising that I had ditched it for good this time, because the urge to light up is getting quite rare. In fact the last time I smoked I actually felt quite ill; as if my system is not longer used to it. Good sign. But I'm gonna wait for maybe half a year more before declaring myself a non-smoker.
Work. I'm still learning, but I feel as though I have reached a glass ceiling in terms of technical skills. I'm not even all that interested in fashion anymore. Can't remember the last time I was arsed enough to do some fancy lighting. What I am getting interested though, is exploring photography as an art form. The possibilities are infinitely more exciting than some fancy lighting setup.
Just this morning, as I was on the train to work - I had this mental thing. I closed my eyes and I could see images coming onto life - and best of all, it's not just pretty images. I could see ideas joining - visual, intellectual and emotional - and forming a grand picture that I could imagine might invoke an emotional response in the viewer.
The human experience. Our common drives, needs, responses. Sometimes it seemed awfully unimportant; or rather overly emphasized. Does the Universe care if we blasted ourselves to oblivion in a shower of nuclear warheads? So why elevate our common experience to such lofty heights?
Perhaps this is all we know. And it is enough. For one lifetime, it is more than enough.
Work, work. Two full years in a few weeks' time. So much has changed. I am now neither old, nor truly young. Stuck in a kind of weird twilight zone.
Forward, forward!
Everyday, I care lesser about what others think.
And oh, currently ranked 247 on U.S West. Another dumb useless skill. Why am I still wasting time on this?
Could put the energy to better use.
The year started on a slightly bitter note - but it's not the bitter of pills and capsules; but rather the bitter of rich dark chocolate. An acquired taste, pleasurable in a contemplative sort of way; like the chemical high of reaching the peak of a small mountain despite aching calves and screaming lungs.
I am looking over my shoulder. Looking back at the distance that I had traveled over the past year. There was once when I had fallen, but I picked myself up quickly, dusted my scabbed knees and advanced - with my jaws tightly clenched, I imagine. At times the going gets tough, but it's over before you know it.
The greatest accomplishments were perhaps the physical ones. I am now in the best shape I had ever been in my entire life, even better than active NS days. I won't be surprised if I can clock in below 10 minutes for the 2.4 run, something unimaginable in the past. I had also lost about 8kg, and dropped about 3 inches from the waist.
However this is hardly the end of it. My body fat percentage is still too high - I'm hoping to hit below 10%, and replace this with muscle mass. Not too much muscle, either. I imagine it'd be just right.
Smoking. It seems promising that I had ditched it for good this time, because the urge to light up is getting quite rare. In fact the last time I smoked I actually felt quite ill; as if my system is not longer used to it. Good sign. But I'm gonna wait for maybe half a year more before declaring myself a non-smoker.
Work. I'm still learning, but I feel as though I have reached a glass ceiling in terms of technical skills. I'm not even all that interested in fashion anymore. Can't remember the last time I was arsed enough to do some fancy lighting. What I am getting interested though, is exploring photography as an art form. The possibilities are infinitely more exciting than some fancy lighting setup.
Just this morning, as I was on the train to work - I had this mental thing. I closed my eyes and I could see images coming onto life - and best of all, it's not just pretty images. I could see ideas joining - visual, intellectual and emotional - and forming a grand picture that I could imagine might invoke an emotional response in the viewer.
The human experience. Our common drives, needs, responses. Sometimes it seemed awfully unimportant; or rather overly emphasized. Does the Universe care if we blasted ourselves to oblivion in a shower of nuclear warheads? So why elevate our common experience to such lofty heights?
Perhaps this is all we know. And it is enough. For one lifetime, it is more than enough.
Work, work. Two full years in a few weeks' time. So much has changed. I am now neither old, nor truly young. Stuck in a kind of weird twilight zone.
Forward, forward!
Everyday, I care lesser about what others think.
And oh, currently ranked 247 on U.S West. Another dumb useless skill. Why am I still wasting time on this?
Could put the energy to better use.