Was just going to bed when I felt like penning down some thoughts.

Had dinner with the two Ls after work. Things felt a little different and strange - or shall I say, unfamiliar. How long has L quit the company? Around 5 months I think. It's been such a long time.

When asked if I'm interested in joining the other side, I know for certain that I don't want to, quite simply because I don't want to continue doing the same kind of work. The salary might be a little better, the people friendlier - but I'm not keen to go through so much change only to have the big picture remain the same. I just hope that they don't get the impression that I'm being brainlessly loyal to the company.

The more time I spend slacking, the longer that I am stopping myself from where I want to be.

There's something tiring about human interaction. It's all the little itchy, scratchy things like putting on a fake smile and engaging in small talk, being careful of egos, the little white lies here and there. It makes me feel like finding a small cave, or a maybe a little secluded spot in the middle of nowhere, and just sit by myself for a while. There would be a nice cold case of beer, and the stars and the breeze.

But of course, sometimes it would be nice if there was a girl around. Or a buddy. Someone who would let you be yourself. And just spend the time talking nonsense.

Maybe the only person I'd shared this kind of time with, was Reen. We could spend the whole night talking, and not get bored. Munching on snacks and cigs.

It was nice. I miss it.