Or at least, I want to try and learn. I realized I'd never learned to play any sort of music before (the recorder in sec sch doesn't count). And since I enjoy music so much.. I'd might as well learn to play a little.

No harm. But it sure looks tough.

It's quite abrupt the way I'd started to stop thinking about TY. I guess it's because I'd not really known her in the first place. It's just such a shocker. In hindsight, watching all the clues fit in is a surprise.

I even wish that she'd given me a more direct negative signal. But no, there was nothing, except for periods of unanswered messages and calls. But even for these, she claimed her phone was faulty. Why not just say something direct and simple like.. I'm not interested in you, please stop contacting me?

Sigh.

Thankfully, I'm hardly feeling any resentment. Hmm, I wish I could still hear her side of the story. It seemed like she's not in the least interested in 'defending' herself, which is not surprising, being the tough cookie she is.. but unfortunately she doesn't seem to be interested in talking at all, either.

In many ways, she now reminds me of Reen.

That image of her back is still frozen in my head. That night, when she's about to deliver the bad news - in all its finality - that she had decided to go back to Art.

Her, standing with her back to me whilst I was sitting in the dark behind her, her outline illuminated by the orange floodlights in the multistorey carpark. The wind tossing her long, long hair around. She was wearing her tank top, and jeans. And I thought.. she's perfect.

All the time we shared. All the long, long talks deep into the night.

Even though I did not have a camera to capture that moment, it is deeply and permanently etched in my mind. I don't think I'd ever forget it.

How cruel.. it seems. But utterly compulsory.